It takes guts
- hannahthame
- May 1, 2023
- 4 min read
"You've got Ulcerative Colitis (UC). It’s a lifelong disease. There’s no cure. You’ll be on medication for life. There is a greater risk of developing cancer."
I am one of 500,000 people in the UK with an Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD). My immune system doesn’t work properly. My body starts attacking itself, causing ulcers and inflammation in the gut.
Aside from coming to terms with the fact there is no known cure for UC, what I have personally found tough, as every case of IBD is different, is that it’s an invisible and unpredictable illness. And it’s affected my whole body, not just my bowel.
The gut is like your body’s second brain, so when it goes wrong, it can affect every aspect of your life – from your hormones and digestion, to your energy levels and mental health.
Forced to make a change
Let’s face it we all hate being forced to do something, but sometimes you have no choice!
I’ve had to think about what, when and where I eat. For someone that loves food and eating out, I have struggled with this. I understand that food does not cause my illness, however control of my diet can help to manage symptoms.
I can sometimes be anxious about taking long journeys and worry about cleanliness of public toilets. This can and has stopped me from going on adventures that I previously wouldn’t have given a second thought about.
I spend the majority of the day looking at a computer screen so having to endure headaches and dry tender eyes symptoms has become a new skillset of mine.
Being judged as lazy if I slow down in a spin class, struggle to remember things at work or don’t have the energy to do the housework is an unpleasant feeling for me. My mental state of mind takes a battering and I often find myself down.
I have found I experience fatigue regardless of how much rest or sleep I get. Again, my mental health is tested. I find myself turning down nights out as I know a late event will wipe me out for days. This has however made me fall in love with early mornings – I am now in the 5am club.
Accepting myself that I am not able or may not be able to do the things I used to has been tough. Others not understanding that I don’t want to do the things I used to enjoy doing with them anymore has been hard to communicate too.
I have been an eccedentesiast since I have been diagnosed. It’s been easier to hide my sadness and pain behind a smile.
Looking back to see how far I’ve come
One year on, after being diagnosed with UC, I decided to try put that ‘shit’ in the past and look to the future.
I set myself a personal goal every month to ‘try something new’.
Before my diagnosis, in May 2017, I took on the challenge of ‘outrunning cancer’ for Macmillan Cancer Support. The goal: 30-80 miles to raise £204 – how much it costs to fund a Macmillan nurse for a day – to help to change the lives of people affected by cancer. This meant running at least 2 miles per day for 31 days. As part of this challenge, I signed up to run Newbury (Bayer) 10k for the first time. I managed it in just over an hour. I struggled and vowed never to run this route again. But, back then I didn’t know that I wouldn’t physically be well enough to run the same route in 2018.
From December 2017 to February 2018 I became sicker and sicker and with that came the weight loss. Not only was I losing my excess fat – although I had a thigh gap for the first time ever – I was losing my hard-earned muscle. I was devastated.
I kept asking my consultant: “when can I get back to the gym?”
Once the steroids kicked in and my bloods showed an improvement in nutrients, I began the slow process of getting my body back into working out.
In March 2019 I started to feel better. Thanks to bstfitness Newbury, West Berks White Collar Boxing, parkrun Newbury, Hi-5 Runners and Zak Elliott PT, I also feel strong enough both mentally and physically, to take on a running challenge again.
Living with UC is not a ‘try something new’ anyone would choose; however, it has given me a different perspective and a drive to try something again. I entered the Roc 10k May 2019, a route 2 years ago that I said I would never run again! This time I ran for a charity close to my heart, well, butt actually! Crohn's and Colitis UK.
I am lucky that I am able to consider running any distance. For many suffering with IBD this is not an option. To even wave me off at the start would be a challenge for many. I hope the money I raised helps to continue research into new treatments to improve quality of life and eventually find a cure.
I honestly wouldn't have made it through the last five years without my awesome family. They joined me on WALKIT London in June 2019. Such an emotional day. It was more than just covering 10K past some of the city’s most iconic sights. It was a powerful reminder of the love and support that surrounds me.
Every step I took was fuelled not only by donations and kind words from friends and family, but by the determination to show that ulcerative colitis will not define me. Their encouragement lifts me on difficult days and strengthens my resolve to keep pushing forward.
Tomorrow is never promised, so my mindset is simple: do it today, whilst you can. As long as I can run, cycle, swim, and walk, I will – because I know too many others with this illness don’t have that choice. That truth makes every movement, every mile and every shared moment even more meaningful.
If you're reading this and would like to help make a difference, my fundraising page is still active: www.justgiving.com/fundraising/Hannah-Thame
